How I Feel
by Sinny of Yellowboze
Summary: Song-fic, kinda. A shy Bhaalspawn doesn't know how to say what she feels inside...


HOW I FEEL  
  
Summary: A shy female Bhaalspawn tries to tell Anomen how she feels, and eventually Haer'Dalis comes up with an idea... Party consists of Mayara, Anomen, Haer'Dalis, Edwin (in female form, heh heh), Keldorn, and Aerie.  
  
Happy Fun Legal Text ™: I don't own Baldur's Gate II or anything associated with it bar Mayara. Nor do I own the lyrics to 1000 Words, SquareEnix own them but I stole the song cause it's the only song which always makes me tear up no matter how many times I hear it.  
  
***  
  
"You are such a coward. (Not that I am at all surprised.)" Edwin – Edwina? – said, smirking at the shy silver-haired human woman as she paced up and down in the room the party's females were sharing. Quite early on Mayara has insisted that different genders sleep in different rooms when in town. Protests had been made – kind of – but she was adamant.  
  
"Shut up Edwin!" she wailed, tugging at the tight braid which hung behind one ear. "Oh, I don't know what to do..."  
  
"You're horrible," Aerie told Edwina, with a certain amount of fire. She'd really loosened up since she left the circus. "Just because you haven't got a heart."  
  
"Do you wish to challenge me, wingless one? (I could use the exercise!)"  
  
"Stop it!" Mayara fell onto her bed, and groaned. "What am I supposed to say? I've never been any good at this! Every time I try, I see those eyes and I totally loose myself..."  
  
"You could ask Haer'Dalis," Aerie suddenly said, blushing slightly. "He might know how to get you past it, he'd probably see it as stage fright."  
  
"That might work..." Mayara said, smiling. As if she hadn't noticed Haer'Dalis flirting with Aerie! Truth be told, it was quite funny to watch. "It'll have to wait until morning though."  
  
Mayara yawned. "Edwin, if I find you in my bed tomorrow morning, I shall stab you."  
  
***  
  
Haer'Dalis found the entire idea quite amusing. "So, the raven wishes to roost with the eagle?" he asked during the morning meal. Anomen was sleeping in – again! – so it was the perfect time to discuss the situation.  
  
"Not the way I'd have put it, but... yeah, that's about right." Mayara could feel her entire face going scarlet, but she had to fight past it. If she didn't tell Anomen how she felt, she'd never forgive herself!  
  
"A most interesting dilemma." Haer'Dalis lapsed into thought for a few moments. "My raven, do you sing?"  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
***  
  
"Hurry up, you foolish warrior! (Why did I let them talk me into this?)" Edwina growled, dragging Anomen through the Bridge District towards the Inn. Mayara had the deeds to the theatre below, but she usually left things to the various directors who passed through Athkatla.  
  
"Unhand me, foul wizard!" Anomen countered, struggling to release himself from Edwina's grasp. Unluckily for him, those nails really were annoying strong... and sharp!  
  
"If I do, our mewling bards have threatened to tell the Red Wizards who I am. (Traitorous children!)" Edwina dragged Anomen through the Five Flagons (Author: Please tell me if I got the name wrong) – which was abnormally crowded – and into the theatre below.  
  
He'd never seen so many people shoved into so small a place before. It was quite astonishing. Even though there were so many people there, a path seemed to open up before him. He moved forwards, suddenly feeling terribly apprehensive. What was going on?  
  
Suddenly the lights went out, plunging the room into darkness. The room was filled with excited whispers, and he was sure that he could hear the names "Mayara" and "Aerie" being mentioned more than once.  
  
Slowly the stage itself seemed to glow, illuminating the front row but little else. To the left of the stage was a small group of musicians, led by none other than Haer'Dalis, who was holding a strange lute – a guitar? – confidently.  
  
The whispers seemed to die away as two figures appeared at the far end of the stage. It was Aerie and Mayara, although somehow not the same women that he knew. They were dressed in severely shortened robes – blue for Aerie and green for Mayara – with tight white leggings and boots made from some strangely soft black leather.  
  
"Believe with me," said Aerie.  
  
"Even if we are torn apart, our feelings will unite us," continued Mayara, a slight flush spreading across her cheeks.  
  
"That is what this song is about," they both finished, and Haer'Dalis gestured the musicians into action.  
  
"I know that you're hiding things, Using gentle words to shelter me. Your words were like a dream... But dreams could never fool me, Not that easily."  
  
Anomen almost staggered from shock. Ever since the moment she'd stepped onto the stage, Mayara hadn't taken her eyes from him once. Edwina snickered.  
  
"I acted so distant then, Didn't say goodbye before you left. But I was listening. You'll fight your battles far from me... Far too easily," Aerie sang, before nudging Mayara, who visibly gulped.  
  
"Save your tears, cause I'll come back, I could hear that you whispered, As you walked through that door! But still I swore, To hide the pain when I turn back the pages."  
  
From the corner of his eye, Anomen could see Keldorn leaning against the wall, smirking. Had even the old paladin been in on this as well? Just what was going on here, anyway?  
  
"Shouting might have been the answer, What if I'd cried my eyes out and begged you not to depart?"  
  
Aerie and Mayara seemed to be hitting their stride, becoming involved with the music. It was at once enchanting and terrifying.  
  
"But now I'm not afraid to say what's in my heart!"  
  
They mingled their voices again, and he was sure that Haer'Dalis and Aerie were sharing the occasional glance.  
  
"Cause a thousand words, Call out through the ages! They'll fly to you, even though I can't see, I know they're reaching you, suspended on silver wings!"  
  
Was Mayara crying?  
  
"Oh, a thousand words, One thousand embraces, Will cradle you, Making all of your weary days seem far away! They'll hold you forever!"  
  
The light in the room seemed to be taking on shapes. Unbeknownst to anyone but themselves, Mayara and Haer'Dalis were using a rare facet of their bardic power to force the light itself to tell a story, of two lovers who had died without saying the words each needed to hear.  
  
Several members of the audience were crying quietly, and everywhere there seemed to be couples holding each other close.  
  
Aerie took up the main line.  
  
"Oh, a thousand words,"  
  
"A thousand words,"  
  
"Have never been spoken."  
  
"Oh no."  
  
"They'll fly to you, they'll carry you home,"  
  
"Bring you home!"  
  
"And back into my arms, suspended on silver wings."  
  
"On silver wings!"  
  
"And a thousand words,"  
  
"Thousand words,"  
  
"Call out through the ages,"  
  
"Call through the ages!"  
  
"They'll cradle you, turning the lonely years to only days,"  
  
"Only days..."  
  
"They'll hold you forever!"  
  
The music was fading, but there was still something which needed to be said. Mayara glanced at Aerie and Haer'Dalis, who both smiled. She looked to Keldorn, and he nodded sagely. Even Edwina seemed to think that it needed to be done.  
  
She wiped the tears from her face, and leapt from the stage. She ran to Anomen, and held him tightly.  
  
"I love you."  
  
***  
  
There you go, Sinny's dose of utterly adorable for the week.  
  
What do you think? Too sappy, too cute, not cute enough? Please review, I'll be happy. 


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